I want to know them

So, they're hilarious. I thought they were just B.A all the time. I want to be Alison Mosshart when I grow up.

Hospice

So, I realize this album has been out since the summer. But, I recently just got it after putting off listening to The Antlers (they were on my listen to list). All I have to say is, wow. The album itself is a story. A very, very, sad story. Peter Silberman, the writer and lead singer, took 2 years to write this album after a death of a loved one dying of cancer (girlfriend, supposedly). He completely isolated himself while writing this, then recruited some people to help record it. I got a hold of the lyrics booklet and read it like the story it was. When I got to the track, "Two" I cried. This song, itself, if you don't listen to the lyrics is a seemingly up-beat song. When I read the lyrics I realized this was the point in Silberman's relationship where he gives up. The whole album is so very real. It is saturated in his emotion and soaked with the rawness of exactly what he felt while writing this. There is nothing more I can say than this is the most real album I have listened to in a while.

Two
(or I would have saved her if I could)

In the middle of the night I was sleeping sitting up
When a doctor came to tell me, "Enough is enough"

He brought me out into the hall (I could have sworn it was haunted)
And told me something that I didn't know that I wanted to hear:
That there was nothing that I could do to save you
The choir's going to sing, and this thing is going to kill you
Something in my throat made my next words shake
And something in the wires made the lightbulbs break
There was glass inside my feet and raining down from the ceiling
It opened up the scars that had just finished healing
It tore apart the canyon running down your femur
(I thought that it was beautiful, it made me a believer)
And as it opened I could hear you howling from your room
But I hid out in the hall until the hurricane blew
When I reappeared and tried to give you something for the pain
You came to hating me again and just sang your refrain

You had a new dream, it was more like a nightmare
You were just a little kid, and they cut your hair
Then they stuck you in machines, you came so close to dying
They should have listened, they thought that you were lying
Daddy was an asshole, he fucked you up
Built the gears in your head, now he greases them up
And no one paid attention when you just stopped eating
"Eighty-seven pounds!" and this all bears repeating

Tell me when you think that we became so unhappy
Wearing silver rings with nobody clapping
When we moved here together we were so disappointed
Sleeping out of tune with our dreams disjointed
It killed me to see you getting always rejected
But I didn't mind the things you threw, the phones I deflected
I didn't mind you blaming me for your mistakes
I just held you in the door-frame through all of the earthquakes
But you packed up your clothes in that bag every night
And I would try to grab your ankles (what a pitiful sight)
But after over a year, I stopped trying to stop you
From stomping out that door
Coming back like you always do
Well no one's going to fix it for us, no one can
You say that, "No one's going to listen, and no one understands"

So there's no open doors and there's no way to get through
There's no other witnesses, just us two

There's two people living in one small room
From your two half-families tearing at you
Two ways to tell the story (no one worries)
Two silver rings on our fingers in a hurry
Two people talking inside your brain
Two people believing that I'm the one to blame
Two different voices coming out of your mouth
While I'm too cold to care and too sick to shout

You had a new dream, it was more like a nightmare
You were just a little kid, and they cut your hair
Then they stuck you in machines, you came so close to dying
They should have listened, they thought that you were lying
Daddy was an asshole, he fucked you up
Built the gears in your head, now he greases them up
And no one paid attention when you just stopped eating
"Eighty-seven pounds!" and this all bears repeating

Valentine's

I am providing you with my recipe for the cupcakes I made for Anthony for Valentine's. Anthony doesn't really enjoy strawberries, so I opted for chocolate dipped bananas instead (heart-shaped slices). The cake is a simple chocolate cake, and the frosting is peanut butter.I got both recipes from allrecipes.com. Enjoy.

BANANAS:
The first thing you have to do is take one banana and cut it into about 1 inch thick slice. Then, make them heart-shaped and stick them in the freezer for about an hour.

then, simply melt chocolate chips and butter (unsalted) together in the microwave. Try two minutes first, it's better to undermelt then over melt. Keep in mind that it should be dipping consistency. The more butter you use, the more liquidly it will be. After you have dipped the bananas in the chocolate put that in the freezer for 3 hours.


CAKE:

ingredients

2 cups boiling water
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened
2 1/4 cups white sugar
4 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 12 cupcake tin. In medium bowl, pour boiling water over cocoa, and whisk until smooth. Let mixture cool.


In another bowl Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt; set aside.

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs one at time, then stir in vanilla.


Add the flour mixture alternately with the cocoa mixture.



Bake in preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Allow to cool.


FROSTING:

ingredients:
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup creamy peanut butter
3 tablespoons milk, or as needed
2 cups confectioners' sugar

Place the butter and peanut butter into a medium bowl, and beat with an electric mixer. Gradually mix in the sugar, and when it starts to get thick, incorporate milk one tablespoon at a time until all of the sugar is mixed in and the frosting is thick and spreadable. Beat for at least 3 minutes for it to get good and fluffy.


TADA!

Crunk and grind, that's my bloodline.

So, I have recently become obsessed with multiple finger rings. I saw them online a while back at this online vintage shop I like to keep an eye on. Right away I thought it was a brilliant idea. Surprisingly, not soon after Forever 21 was already stocking up on a few. I bought myself a gold, two finger ring with a white bird on the top. I feel a little dangerous. Its kind of has a brass knuckle feel to it (which is probably the ultimate inspiration for these rings) which is silly, because it's a white bird ring essentially. I don't think anyone would be afraid if I were to flash my fist at them. However, I am definitely planning on getting more. It's odd that these rings would appear on the scene just as the very classic forties started to make a come back and not last year when futuristic looks were the top trend. But, i suppose if you class them up with bows and birds it fits in just fine. Plus, who doesn't like feeling dangerous? Below are some inspirations and pieces that I thought were great.

Recollection

I think it's safe to say that I go through cycles of sadness random times out of a month or every other month. It's strange, because sometimes I don't even know what sets it off. They just come. Preferably, I would not like this to happen. However, I do think sadness is the most beautiful emotion. I think people are more in-tune with themselves when they are sad. Sadness also happens to be the only emotion I can really actually create in. I don't need to wait for an inspiration when I am sad. Words just seem to come and flow throughout my conscious. Am I sad right now as I right this? No. But I have been exploring and looking into my insecurities lately and part of the insecurities are responsible for my cycles of melancholy. It's just something I'm trying to figure out. What causes what in my life and why. I ended up writing this a few months ago in one of my cycles. This is not about me. This is supposed to be an abstract view of the world and the collection of people's lost hope within it. I try to keep my stuff as emo free as possible. But I ended up liking some of the imagery and metaphors. I'm a sucker for metaphors.

The World's Dialogue

I am a tigress
I hunt and kill
and make a big mess
all orange and black
inducer of heart attacks

I am going out of style
torn up leather
broken zipper
make room for the fresh
and the hipper

I am a home-wrecker
I'll take what is yours
and make it mine
then I'll chew it up
spit it out
and say goodbye

I am last night's car crash
huge metal monster
burning up rubber and skin
letting the blood run thin

I am pathetic
spilling myself out on the floor
retching when I close the door
all tiny and weak
I am broken
I am bleak